Broken Open

Unsent

Princess

(9-17-02)

I can't stop hurting and
I can't stop crying
Though I'll do my best
To stop writing you.
I go into my darkest room and
Inject my morphine.
I process pictures of everything not you.
I see myself in looking glass,
I dance, like a wild man.
I see the beauty of my soul.
Who I am,
Who I can be.
The man you couldn't see.
Pity.
My tears are almost dry.
You cut me cold and quick.
An ex dying on a rain slicked street.
A Father giving up the ghost.
The most you know of me
Was not enough.
You want to have your cake and eat it too.
You want the world to bow to you,
To see you as the princess that you think you are.
I was never here to save you.
I was never really there at all.
You were the thing
That made the sting of my heart
More bearable, for a moment.
How could you not see
The beauty that is me?
You moved me to nothingness,
But nothingness is not my desire.
My desire will awake
And I will be the boy
With all the cake.