Becoming Me

My Dark Place

11-17-03

My deepest,
Darkest
Fantasy is a
Hard
Barrel in my
Mouth.
The spray of
Nothingness.
To choose
My own moment.
To wipe,
In an instant,
My stain on
The world.
Last chance a
Failure.
As all have been.
Already dead.
You saw to that.
Your silence
Strengthens me.
I won't pretend to be
Unaffected.
Each day
Against all will,
My thoughts return.
I am bound by what
Already I knew.
You call yourself
Mother.
Send me to
My dark place.